Notes To My Future Husband

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Notes To My Future Husband

The Coquette

Who is the Most Hilarious Bitch Around?

Meet The Coquette, the insanely popular advice columist for The Daily . Smirking but never cynical, she's a bad-ass with her own ideas about what it means to be a wife and what it takes to be a husband. Notes to My Future Husband is a modern woman's collection of tips on life, love, and everything in between.

Based on the blog namedone of the 'funniest ever' by the New York Observer , this book is perfect for any seriously awesome bithch-or the man who loves her.

Cold Cuts: If we have ham and you leave less than three slices in the package, you should just stab me in my sleep. What am I supposed to do with less than three pieces of ham? Dry my tears?

- Obey: The word that will be conspicuously missing from our wedding vows.

- I promise: to never comment on your bad breath, as long as you don't come near me with bad breath.

- We're going to make a lot of parenting mistakes: Let's not make putting leashes on our children when we go to the mall one of them.

- Your job: I know I'm the 'free spirited one', but you're not allowed to be doing something that makes you miserable. Sorry. We'll f***'in live in a box, it's fine.